CLASSIFIED | POLITICS | TERRORISM | OPINION | VIEWS





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Murali - The Spin Wizard turned Spin Doctor-
Overheard by Walter Rajaratne in Australia.

Venue – The Hole of Fame – International Centre for World Terrorism. Kilinochchi.

Compere: JehaanP – Routers News Agency.

JP > Hello Mr.Murali. How is the reconstruction going? Any improvement?

Murali> “Yes, of course. It’s unbelievable. This was my first visit to Eelam since the hostilities ceased after the CFA. These boys are a wonderful lot. They have taken the challenge head on and done a great job. Not a single canon anywhere in the vicinity. Its development, development, development. All the future fixtures of Sharja are coming here. I am going to show the wonder of spin doctoring to the world from here.”

“I felt like staying for a few more days in the company of Prabha Anna. He is such an unassuming chap that I just cant believe why our lady is dragging her feet without giving that four letter thing so that we all can Rest in Peace. After all it doesn’t start with a filthy F”

“I can play more Tests against Eelam and SL captaining ML (Malaya Nadu). My thousandth scalp is guaranteed with one martyr for the batter to see at grandstand. Anna will allow me bending or chucking to any extent and Hair and Broad will keep mum”.

“Anyway, I don’t know politics but she must give this damn thing and finish it. Ranil said ok. So what do you reckon?”

JP> “No. No. Murali. It is your shoulder reconstruction that I asked. You know how mad we were when that Abo slayer, Shauny from down under snatched the record from you. We lost appetite even for a Thosai and Masala Wadai at the Bhawan, watching that moment.”

“By the way now that you are a keen follower of the ugly discrimination of the chauvinistic Sinhala Buddhist scoundrels decimating innocent boys from Vanni, is there any support you could muster from Kofi Anna and rest of the UN guys you met in your compassionate world tour, strengthening the hand of Prabha and Paramu Thambi.”

“Come on. Don’t tell me the Dr.NO in London did not tell you more about the liberation. They call your people Kallathony behind your back, don’t they?”

Murali> You know what happened when I landed in Kilinochci. A Black Tiger Podiyan nearly exploded his body kit with me if not for that Solee, the Norwegian salmon eater. When the Kamikaze heard my name as Mr.Muralitahran, he thought, the Throhi Karuna, had penetrated the security cordon to kill our Thevan. He is Murali too, for namesake. Kadavulai, Nalla Kaalam. Thappinadu!! Goodness gracious. That was a near thing.”

JP> “Hey Murali, it was your shoulder reconstruction I asked about?”

Murali> “Oh very sorry Thorai. My shoulder reconstruction? Yes it’s very much improved. That rogue Darrel H will have to look for a hole to hide when I start chucking now on. Thevan told me that the message has already been sent to Jhonny in Canberra to guard his tongue. It’s he, the Sarvathesh Thalaivar Prabha who taught Kamikaze even to Osama. Now Akashi is taking lessons from him, how to improve their original Kamikaze. Without takers for this damn carrot, Akashi is heading for a Hara Kiri.”

“These Cricket board guys purposely let me down because, you know, I am a descendent of Kallathoni. Dr.NO in London said that I must spherehead the battle for the Malaya Nadu now that I am a world famous celebrity and Thonda has laid a solid foundation which is turning like magic to my googlies. He said that I must follow the path of our guys who reached the top, taking these foolish Sinhala chauvinists for a roll while washing their dirty linen as their obedient slaves for a while, and then carried our fairytale to UN and the west as diplomats. Sarvodaya joker and the NGO boys did a great job making a good pitch. Wonderful curators.”

JP> “Now that the ICC is tamed, giving more flexibility to bend, by bending backward, what have you got to say?”

Murali> “You remember that missile Doosra, I invented. That will mesmerize and crush these fools to smithereens in no time. You see, Anna told me that he learnt a very important lesson following my relentless chucking against the world opinion. From the day I started bowling I was a great chucker.

“Then that idiot Dr.Geetha introduced a new theory that I was born bent, due to our historical bending for two centuries to our original White Sahibs who brought us from Nadu across Straight as slave labourers. Everybody swallowed it. I can’t forget the support given by Arjun though he is a Sing. I will appoint him the minister for Crikets in Malaya Nadu when we declare UDI. Lady cheated him very badly.”

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“So, Aussies and the ICC had to mind their own business. Like this Sinhala Chappies thought that our Eelam too would die a natural death. Anna said we have been calling our goal in different names in different times and little by little fooled all of them. So our Eelam and Malaya Nadu are now within striking distance. Do you know how to turn a goat to a dog? Read Panchathantram. That’s what Anna has done.

Can’t you see that Ranil and the Lady in a bid to beat each other to give us the four letter thing on a platter, if not for this shaven headed saffron clad idiots and the red fools. The Doosra I sent the other day will do the job.”

You know how Anna introduced me to his colleagues. “Nammada Aal.”

JP> So Murali where are you going from here.

Murali> Where else do you think? To Malaya Nadu.



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