The Street Walk By Bandula Jayasekara Courtesy The Island

Sri Lanka is the best country in the world. It is a land like no other. Incredible! That is why there is a song and people always say ‘Loken Uthum Rata Sri Lankawai’ (Sri Lanka is the best country in the world). We have the best Finance Minister in the world and he wins awards no one really knows about and it happens all the time. Some publish advertisements and felicitate him. But, the US dollar continues to rise against the poor Sri Lankan rupee. Still, the United States is our best friend and he is still the best Finance Minister in the world. Aren’t we proud? However, no banks in Sri Lanka come under him. Some say he got just the blood bank. But, he is no Dracula. Dracula is much thinner than him. He sure can give blood to the needy. He is a lucky man because he gets to sign all the currency notes, even though he got no control over the Central Bank. He truly is a lucky hurly burly fellow. Our Best in the world Finance Minister, who says there is no Bond scam when there is a GOPE report and a special presidential commission appointed by the President himself. He is a jolly good fellow.

Sri Lanka also got the best former Central Bank Governor of the world. He is the most talked about man may be in the history, present and even in the future of Sri Lanka. Newspapers, Radio stations, Television Channels are full of him. He looks larger than himself and sometimes thoughtful. He is the only person Sri Lankans know of. He might be soon voted as the Man of the Century and all those centuries scored by Duleep, Sidath, Roy , Aravinda, Arjuna, Sanath, Mahela and Sangakkara will be in vain. Many say he is the most powerful person in Sri Lanka. More powerful than the President, Prime Minister, Leader of Opposition and the Joint Opposition. He got honourable mention in a parliament committee and he is also the founder of the footnote brigade a new division in Sri Lanka (US Marines, please take note). There is also a special presidential commission in his honour. I think he is lucky to be living in the best country in the world. Where else would one get this type of publicity and protection? Yes. We are the best.

Sri Lanka is also very fortunate to have the best minister in the world. He has gone wild. At times he hates wild animals. Then he will clear land in wildlife sanctuaries and resettle people, according to his whims and fancies. He doesn’t care a damn for the former President, current President or even the all powerful Prime Minister. He always says he is very innocent and gives the slip to the media and even to himself. He is a champion crossover man, a former cross country champion and owns a cross bench. The only thing we wouldn’t know is if he is a cross dresser. Last week I saw photos of him and another Minister, a classmate type in London. I am sure they met the Queen of Scotland in London.

Sri Lankans are also a lucky bunch. This is the only country that could boast of a proposition, opposition cum no opposition and a joint opposition and confusion. They all have mastered the art of stage drama, tele drama and cinema. They are excellent method actors and actresses, who are hell bent in achieving the same objectives which are Power and Perks. They work very hard towards it with no expense to them, but to the poor people of Sri Lanka. Aren’t we lucky man? They travel on rural roads where even a bullock cart cannot go, in brand new Land Cruisers. Some have sold those luxury vehicles and donated money to ‘charity’ – after all charity begins and ends at home.

Our best country in the world is the only country in the world which has two former Presidents in politics. They belong to one party, but are poles apart and most of the time they put ‘part’ to each other. Many Sri Lankans wonder if they ever belonged to the same party. They both want the limelight until the very end, or they both think that end will never come. They both have a great vocabulary. They both go to Temples and consider themselves as Buddhists. But, their war of words does not end, which makes us the greatest country in the world. Another reason Sri Lanka earned the reputation as the best country in the world is… we have a Prime Minister who is not at his prime anymore. Its beyond him and he has become like an old broken record player. He is also a record holder when it comes to elections and selections. Lately he has developed a dry sense of humour. School children refer to it as Dry Jokes. A colleague said he should be sent to the dry zone permanently. He is also like Jack in the Box at times. At times he is Bombay, going Kolkata. His answers in parliament are like Parangiya Kotte giya wage (How the Portuguese went to Kotte) He is well aware that the parliament is in Kotte, though you and I think it’s still in Colombo.

These are only few reasons Sri Lanka is the best country in the world and now you know why Americans, Chinese, Indians, Australians, Spanish, Canadians, Somalis, Puntalands are moving to Sri Lanka lock stock and barrel. Hip Hip Hurrah.