Murali - The Spin Wizard turned
Overheard by Walter Rajaratne in Australia.
Venue The Hole of Fame International Centre for
World Terrorism. Kilinochchi.
Compere: JehaanP Routers News Agency.
JP > Hello Mr.Murali. How is the reconstruction going? Any
Murali> Yes, of course. Its unbelievable. This
was my first visit to Eelam since the hostilities ceased after the CFA.
These boys are a wonderful lot. They have taken the challenge head on
and done a great job. Not a single canon anywhere in the vicinity. Its
development, development, development. All the future fixtures of Sharja
are coming here. I am going to show the wonder of spin doctoring to
the world from here.
I felt like staying for a few more days in the company of Prabha
Anna. He is such an unassuming chap that I just cant believe why our
lady is dragging her feet without giving that four letter thing so that
we all can Rest in Peace. After all it doesnt start with a filthy
I can play more Tests against Eelam and SL captaining ML (Malaya
Nadu). My thousandth scalp is guaranteed with one martyr for the batter
to see at grandstand. Anna will allow me bending or chucking to any
extent and Hair and Broad will keep mum.
Anyway, I dont know politics but she must give this damn
thing and finish it. Ranil said ok. So what do you reckon?
JP> No. No. Murali. It is your shoulder reconstruction
that I asked. You know how mad we were when that Abo slayer, Shauny
from down under snatched the record from you. We lost appetite even
for a Thosai and Masala Wadai at the Bhawan, watching that moment.
By the way now that you are a keen follower of the ugly discrimination
of the chauvinistic Sinhala Buddhist scoundrels decimating innocent
boys from Vanni, is there any support you could muster from Kofi Anna
and rest of the UN guys you met in your compassionate world tour, strengthening
the hand of Prabha and Paramu Thambi.
Come on. Dont tell me the Dr.NO in London did not tell
you more about the liberation. They call your people Kallathony behind
your back, dont they?
Murali> You know what happened when I landed in Kilinochci.
A Black Tiger Podiyan nearly exploded his body kit with me if not for
that Solee, the Norwegian salmon eater. When the Kamikaze heard my name
as Mr.Muralitahran, he thought, the Throhi Karuna, had penetrated the
security cordon to kill our Thevan. He is Murali too, for namesake.
Kadavulai, Nalla Kaalam. Thappinadu!! Goodness gracious. That was a
JP> Hey Murali, it was your shoulder reconstruction
I asked about?
Murali> Oh very sorry Thorai. My shoulder reconstruction?
Yes its very much improved. That rogue Darrel H will have to look
for a hole to hide when I start chucking now on. Thevan told me that
the message has already been sent to Jhonny in Canberra to guard his
tongue. Its he, the Sarvathesh Thalaivar Prabha who taught Kamikaze
even to Osama. Now Akashi is taking lessons from him, how to improve
their original Kamikaze. Without takers for this damn carrot, Akashi
is heading for a Hara Kiri.
These Cricket board guys purposely let me down because, you know,
I am a descendent of Kallathoni. Dr.NO in London said that I must spherehead
the battle for the Malaya Nadu now that I am a world famous celebrity
and Thonda has laid a solid foundation which is turning like magic to
my googlies. He said that I must follow the path of our guys who reached
the top, taking these foolish Sinhala chauvinists for a roll while washing
their dirty linen as their obedient slaves for a while, and then carried
our fairytale to UN and the west as diplomats. Sarvodaya joker and the
NGO boys did a great job making a good pitch. Wonderful curators.
JP> Now that the ICC is tamed, giving more flexibility
to bend, by bending backward, what have you got to say?
Murali> You remember that missile Doosra, I invented.
That will mesmerize and crush these fools to smithereens in no time.
You see, Anna told me that he learnt a very important lesson following
my relentless chucking against the world opinion. From the day I started
bowling I was a great chucker.
Then that idiot Dr.Geetha introduced a new theory that I was
born bent, due to our historical bending for two centuries to our original
White Sahibs who brought us from Nadu across Straight as slave labourers.
Everybody swallowed it. I cant forget the support given by Arjun
though he is a Sing. I will appoint him the minister for Crikets in
Malaya Nadu when we declare UDI. Lady cheated him very badly.
So, Aussies and the ICC had to mind their own business. Like
this Sinhala Chappies thought that our Eelam too would die a natural
death. Anna said we have been calling our goal in different names in
different times and little by little fooled all of them. So our Eelam
and Malaya Nadu are now within striking distance. Do you know how to
turn a goat to a dog? Read Panchathantram. Thats what Anna has
Cant you see that Ranil and the Lady in a bid to beat each other
to give us the four letter thing on a platter, if not for this shaven
headed saffron clad idiots and the red fools. The Doosra I sent the
other day will do the job.
You know how Anna introduced me to his colleagues. Nammada Aal.
JP> So Murali where are you going from here.
Murali> Where else do you think? To Malaya Nadu.